The Best of CNN.

Ok, I can't resist.
Like many people, I get my news from CNN, and in fact mostly Does this make me a hippy liberal? You betcha!
(Actual Author Photo)
As I browse, I frequently come across bizzare stories, which I now feel obligated to present to the public. (Wolf Blitzer, if you're reading this you owe me punk!)

(CEO of Nick Howard's Chump List)
So without further delay or stupid photos, here are my picks for today's best of CNN:
1) Police: Man sold teen daughter into marriage for cash, beer, meat. (Link)
Sometimes just the title is enough for a fit of giggles. Go ahead and click that link and take a good look at that guy's mug shot. Then tell me his friends and family haven't suspected that he'd pull something like this since about 1973.This guy totally gives a bad name to those of us who have uttered the phrase "I'd do anything for a steak right now". Best part of all? The groom didn't even pay up, so the dude called the cops to report what had happened.
2) Sewer escape throws mafia police off scent (Link)
Ok, for starter, there are mafia police? What does a person have to do to obtain such a level of respect and honor in the community?
(Obvious problems with the job: possibility of getting capped!)
This is the third time this guy has gotten away from the cops. I can't imagine what the problem is...
3) Sex offender wins $500,000 Alaska lottery (Link)
Ok, I admit that on the surface this headline doesn't look funny at all. What could possibly come to cause people to giggle at a known criminal of one of the worst crimes imaginable? But what truly makes the story is that the proceeds of the lotto went to those who have abused sexually...

The quote that makes the story: "It's not how we had envisioned the story going,"
Time for a screening process?
Have a great story for me? Send me a link in an e-mail!