My New Monster

Hello friends,

 

I noticed something while I was at the gym working out yesterday, and I thought I'd share some thoughts here on the J-Blog.

 

When I was in high school, I took Advanced Placement American History, or APA as we called it. The idea was that you would submit yourself to an incredibly difficult year of learning, followed by a national test, which if you did well on you would be able to opt out of college classes. The test was the source of much stress and disdain from several students, and so our teacher nick named it "The Beast." It sounds ridiculous, but it actually helped get you through the tough year of classes to know that everything you did was one more weapon in your tool belt for when you would attempt to slay the beast. We pictured it with nasty fangs and blood drenched claws, and know that what we were suffering through would help us to slay the Beast made the suffering tolerable.

 

Last year, I started cycling as a form of fitness. I had always like bike riding, but never really got into the intense all out riding that so many people have come to love over time. I was at dinner with a few friends, when one Travis Bachelder invited me to participate in the MS 150, a 150 mile bike ride from Slippery Rock to Lake Erie. Foolishly, I said yes.

 

The 150 became my Beast. It was the monster that I had to overcome. At that dinner table, a 150 mile two-day ride seemed impossible. It was going to require a lot of me in terms of training, in terms of mental dedication, in terms of nutrition and eating better. I was going to suffer. But at least I knew that I was going to suffer with a purpose. I was going to slay the monster, and slay the monster I did. I never felt better after a ride than I did when we rolled into Lake Erie, and they handed me the finishers metal. It sounds cheesy, but that metal means a lot to me. It's not just two days of accomplishment, but it's every ounce of the 500 miles and countless hours in the gym that went into training me for that ride.

 

The 150 happened in the middle of my cycling "season", and I started to notice something interesting towards the end. I was losing my drive to go on. I didn't want to go out on a huge training ride. I had very little desire to go to the gym. When I did go out on a ride, I was seeking easier courses and flatter terrain. Without a monster to slay, I had no reason to suffer, because suffering pointlessly is really no fun at all.

 

As I was lying in bed the other night, and I saw an article about Gran Fondos. I had never heard of such a thing, but the article made it sound like the next step up from the charity rides that I have been doing so far. It's usually a century ride, or 100 miles in a single day. They are known for their climbs, and usually have competition on the climbs. They are not to be trifled with, yet they come with rest stops. Like the 150 was to me a year ago, this ride seems so very far out of my reach. There's one coming in New York early next season (http://granfondony.com/) and I want to ride it so bad.

 

It is my new monster.

 

All of a sudden I can't spend enough time in the gym. I'm already upset that it's raining/getting colder so as to keep me off the bike a bit more. I will let you know when I get crazy enough to wear the jackets and tights and ride in the weather anyway. But this monster is coming, and I must be ready to slay it.

 

What is your monster? And what happens when people don't have a monster to work towards? Is it in fact true that suffering makes a little bit more sense when we realize it's leading us somewhere?

 

Food for thought.

 

Godspeed,

 

Jason

Word play: Rescue

Hello faithful readers!

 

Ever have a word get stuck in your head? Like a fire ant that has climbed into your cerebellum and decided to make it's nest in your consciousness, this word has grabbed your attention and will not let go? Well, even if you haven't, play along with me.

 

I've been working through a few books and scripture studies lately in an attempt to get myself prepared for the upcoming season of Veritas, and I'm stumbling over these words that used to have my attention, but no longer seem to have the grip they used to. And the more I'm reading, the more I'm discovering, these words are essential to a Christ-Centered Life, and they need to be picked up and reclaimed. Today's word is rescue.

The truth of the matter is that all of humanity finds itself in a dangerous or harmful situation on a daily basis. We harm each other with alarming regularity. The things that we do to each other on the internet alone should probably qualify as war crimes for the soul. Our words rip and tear at each other so that we have the perceived feeling of being raised up when really all we've done is torn another person down. And all of that is before we even get to the unimaginable harm we do to each other physically, both intentional (wars, stealing lunch money, rape) and unintentional (ignoring the poor, ignorant of suffering, holding on to all the food ourselves while someone else goes to bed hungry). We are horrible to each other.

 

But then I think about some of what's going on in my world, and without turning the faithful J-Blog into my person therapy session, I've realized in recent weeks that I am capable of doing all that harm to myself with very little help from the outside world. I talk myself down. I beat myself up. I say things to myself that I would never say to any other human being. While it's not always this way, I'm realizing that I can be a total wreck.

 

Of course, in the Christian faith we have a language for this too. We call it Sin, and it is the engine driving the injury we inflict on ourselves and others. When we aren't busy using it as a weapon against each other (see paragraph above), we start to realize that everyone is a sinner. We realize that it's inescapable. We find ourselves in a situation not unlike Indiana Jones being stuck in quicksand. There's no way out, and thrashing against ourselves or other people only makes us sink faster.

 

And hence, the importance of the word rescue. We believe firmly that Jesus rescues us from the dangerous or harmful situations others have brought upon us, as well as those we place ourselves in. Like a coast guard diver who leaps from the helicopter into the choppy water, Jesus leapt from the right hand of God and came into our world and experienced our hurts, our desires, our temptations, and even our death, purely and simply so that he could provide us with rescue. His blood shed on the cross was a promise that we would never have to deal with sin again.

 

Of course, the struggle is that we are in the already/but not yet. For as much as we look forward to the life to come in the Kingdom of God, we still live in the world that everyone has universally agreed is falling apart at the seems. But rescue is here, and rescue is coming. Christ frees us from the harmful situations we place ourselves in, and offers us the ability to forgive those who place us in harmful situations. And in the end, the ultimate rescue of the Kingdom founded on earth as it is in heaven will be ours to enjoy forever.

 

Praise God for Rescue!

 

Godspeed,

 

Jason

Mixed Messages

Hello friends,
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I promise this week I'll get back to the Disciples are series, and even though Ed's series on writing as a ministry has past, I'll post that soon as well. Things have been crazy around here.

On Sunday afternoon, I had a pretty jarring phone call from a friend informing me that one of our band mates from Westminster's Bridge service was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident. We heard that things were touch and go for a couple of days, and then on Tuesday he passed away. He was one of the goofiest guys on the planet for sure, but he had a heart that was three times the size of most people, and just a terrific guy to be around.

In the days following his passing, I kept getting phone calls from people telling me how sorry they were that he had passed. Facebook and Twitter were a flurry of activity as people were offering their condolences. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciated my web family (should I even be typing that...yikes...) showing their support as I lost a friend. But something seemed off about the whole thing. Something seemed wrong about people telling me that they were sorry. And I couldn't quite place it until my sister called me.

She asked me towards the end of the conversation "Can you even imagine the party Alan and Jesus are having right now?" Once I got past the image of Jesus (you know, the white guy in the bathrobe we all have in our churches) dancing to disco music with multi-colored lights in the background, I realized what had been so unsettling about people offering their condolences. My pastor had it even better a while back when he told me he complained to the Presbytery office, because when they sent out some announcement e-mails from time to time they would write "It is with great sadness that we announce that John Doe has entered the Kingdom Triumphant." It's one or the other, you are either sad that a person is no longer a part of your life, or you're ecstatic that they're with the Lord.

Now, as previously mentioned, there's an appropriate time for mourning. There's a time for grieving and crying and all of the natural pieces of grief when a person dies. But for me, Alan was the closest friend I've had die (you could argue I was much closer with my grandmother, but she had alzheimer's pretty bad, so I wasn't incredibly close with her when she passed), and the truth of the matter is that I sit here today at my kitchen table, and I tell you I am convinced Alan is in the Kingdom of God right now. I'm certain of it. It's a fact.

So I want to be happy in the midst of great loss. I want to giggle at the thought of Alan starting a dodgeball tournament in heaven. I want to be jealous of the amazing rock band I'm sure he's already formed. I want to rejoice that he's met the Savior. And until I see that big dufusy face again, I want to live the way he lived, knowing that people matter, and that tiny things can bring about huge change for the kingdom.

Godspeed Alan,

Jason

I've had an amazing week!

Greetings bloggers!

If you will forgive me for a moment, I'd like to be proud of myself right here on the internet. This week I followed through on some pretty radical life goals, and I'd just like to share about them.

1. Calories. I started two weeks ago counting calories using a App on my iPhone. My goal is to lose 2 pounds a week, which is a relatively healthy pace. Since then, I've been pretty consistently under calories. Truthfully, it wasn't even that hard. I just had to think a little bit more about what I was eating.
   
2. Pounds. That said, I've lost 4 pounds in those two weeks. While I'm not interested in the numbers as much as I am interested in how I look and feel, I've got to say that feels nice.
   
3. The Bike. I think this is the accomplishment that I'm most proud of. Since Sarah and I moved to our new house in February, I had been saying that I was going to ride my bike to work more often, like I used to in Murrysville. Last week I rode a couple of times, just to see how it went. Then this week, I decided to set a goal of riding my bike to work each and every day this week. With some motivation from my friends on Facebook, and a little help from mother nature, this morning I accomplished that goal!
   

Not that I want to say that I doubted myself, but I totally did. I didn't think I would stick to it. But here I am, and I'm sitting in victory! Not only that, but man do I feel good! My spirits are up a little bit more (not that they were down, but you know), I have a little bit more of a spring in my step, and I'm not as tired as I usually was.

Beyond even all of that, the healthy and the weight loss and all of that, but I have felt truly connected to God in this season. Riding my bike used to be one of my favorite things to do while I was a kid, and re-connecting with that this week has been amazing!

They say that three weeks is what it takes to truly form a habit, so we'll see what next week holds! And truthfully, a lot of what got me going through all this was the support of my twitter/facebook friends, so feel free to hop on and encourage me through this! Thanks you guys!

Grace and Peace,

Jason

Wrecking Ball

Ahh, Twitter. I saw your ugly side today. It does not flatter you.

A prominent worship leader was tweeting today about health care reform. To be honest, I'm super conflicted on that issue to begin with. My wife sure needs health insurance, as do many people in our country. As of now, affording it on our own is pretty much completely out of the question given the amount of coverage she needs for drugs and such. Were she not going to school, we wouldn't be able to afford it at all. On the other hand, I am starting to get a bit weary of the amount of money the government is spending. I'm a bit of a saver myself, and it's starting to freak me out.

But that's not the point.

I asked a question of said worship leader that I ask a lot of people I know and respect. It was not meant as any kind of dis, or snarky attack. Just simply a question I challenge many of us with:

Should Church leaders be involved in political debate and discourse?

I honestly think it's a fair question. If God has placed me in a situation where people are looking up to me, and He has asked me to lead them closer to him either via Youth Ministry or Worship Leading or what have you, is it appropriate to attempt to sway people towards one particular political leaning or another? On the whole in my ministry experience, I've been leaning towards no. Never mind the idea of being one of those postmoderns who doesn't think there's such a thing as left and right divisions any more, is it appropriate to use my influence toward that end?

Of course Christians have a role in politics. Of course we should speak our minds when it comes to how this country we find ourselves in is run. Of course it's only natural to try to make people see the world the way you see it. All I'm asking is should Church leaders play a different role than that of everyone else?

Now, try to fit that into 140 characters.

I did this afternoon.

It did not flatter me.

One of two things happened, or some sort of combination of both. Either I did an incredibly poor job of communicating that I was simply asking a question with no malicious intent whatsoever, or people were defending their positions a little too tightly. My twitter account was flooded with mentions and messages, some of which weren't exactly positive and encouraging. Without even thinking about it, I apparently started a fight on the fastest growing social networking sites out there.

If anyone bothers to research this event, you will note (as it should be noted here) that the worship leader in question actually handled himself really well, and in fact we had a pretty solid e-mail conversation that followed my question. He gets mad props in all of this for engaging in a discussion rather than a spitball contest.

It should also go without saying that if my tweets today somehow offended people or upset them or made them think I was some sort of jerk, I apologize. I think if you read the blog or better yet asked some people who knew me, you would realize that none of these adjectives apply to me. I become absolutely terrified when people don't think highly of me, and so I did not gain your approval today, I am truly sorry.

I learned some things today that I think are worth sharing:

• Twitter is dangerous. 140 characters is nowhere near enough to actually make a point, though it is certainly enough to lose your point entirely. I have preached again and again and again that social networking sites are not a good place for high-minded debate, and today I refused to listen to my own advice.
  
• I am entirely too dependent upon the opinions of others. Like I said, I was a wreck today in the Giant Eagle because I just then noticed the hub-bub I had caused on twitter. I don't have a personal relationship with anyone from today's conversation, and yet I wanted to crawl in a cave and die if they didn't like me. The irony of course being that our dear worship leader in question has authored a song all about God's grace being sufficient in our lives, and while I will sing that song loudly and boldly in church, I did not in any way live it out today. Though perhaps the biggest and most dangerous thing I learned today was
  
• Questions are like wrecking balls. This all came out of a question. There really wasn't any malicious intent at all behind the question, though understandably the question itself can shake things up a bit.

Questions make us uneasy. Questions make us unstable. If someone questions something we've stood on for a very long time, the ground beneath our feet is no longer to be trusted. And we become nervous wrecks, and we start eating ice cream to ease the pain until we develop an eating disorder (or at least that's what I've heard...)

But the truth is, some of our ground could use some re-examining. The best thing that could happen to us is for everything we stand for and believe in to be called into question, only to find out it was exactly as true as we thought it was in the first place. Or perhaps we'll come to some sort of understanding that the ideas or concepts we defend the most are some of the least important, and that our resources could be better used elsewhere. Ideally, if we're journeying with the right people, we'll even make a friend or two along the way.

So again, if I offended you today, as a brother in Christ I am truly and deeply sorry. However, I beg you to at least examine what you stand for. Ask yourself the question you wish no one would ask. Test, probe, deconstruct. If what you have now is left standing at the end, then more power to you. Perhaps we'll end up with something even more beautiful.

As for me, perhaps some slightly more shallow tweets.

Godspeed,

J

The Week that Wasn't.

Hello bloggers.
My dad and my grandfather were very vocal about their love of hard work. As I was growing up, I constantly remember hearing things like "If you work harder, you'll have more time to relax" and "Work smarter, not harder." Growing up, I also recall not listening to them very much. Why do stuff now when you could do stuff later after watching TV? The logic made perfect sense in my brain. But as I've grown a little bit older and hopefully wiser, I've adopted the plan of working super hard early on so as to have more lazy time later.

So, simply put, this week is entirely their fault.

We spent a lot of time working the past couple of months on next week's Alive festival trip. We have been at this a little while now, so some of the pitfalls of the past were easily avoided. We organized the meals with one of our coolest (and also most organized) volunteer families. We checked how many tents we had. We got the trailer to haul everything. Everything is set for Alive.

So this week, there is nothing to do.

Sure, I'm preaching on Sunday, and that's a sermon that's going to need to be written. But even that is mostly done in my head, it just needs to find its way to paper. We could possibly start planning next year's Veritas schedule, but at the moment we'd like a week or so to cleanse ourselves of last year before we start diving in over our heads. There is nothing going on this week.

We are bored.

So the moral of the story is, if you have any ideas or suggestions of things to do during the work week this week, we'd love to hear from you. Otherwise, I'm going to waste away on Twitter.

Oh, and of course,

Let's go Pens!!!

Godspeed,

J

Wednesday Night Post Game: Abraham Lincoln Beard

 

Good morning everybody. 

Today would be Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday. Even if he had lived to be 200 years old, I doubt very much he would look any more or less scary. What a guy!

Last night was great. We kicked things off with a J and Not Ed Variety Show (which I'm currently trying to upload to Youtube, and they're being babies...) including Dr. Phill playing some B-Ball. It might not have been one of the funniest skits we've ever done, but I think it might be one of the most well shot. If youtube ever gets off it's butt I'll post it here. Until then, enjoy this video:

(Chump)

For a game we went with the old stand by. 

Worship actually went extremely well too. We sang Mighty to Save, which is turning into a crowd favorite. Then I tagged on the bridge to The Stand, which was also pretty well recieved. I feel like our kids are finally starting to see why worship is so important.

 

 Then we waltzed into the dreded sex talk. Actually, as could easily have been predicted, we didn't get to cover everything I wanted to cover last night, so I'm splitting the talk and going back to cover part two next week. More on this later I am certain. 

 

I got me some new shoes last night. They're that red. There is no effect on the photograph. I am in no danger of being hit by cars at night any more. Unless of course I blind the driver. However, I love the feeling of new shoes, and so I leave you with this:

More later.
Godspeed,

J

Monday Morning Update

 

Good morning faithful readers. It's time for the Monday Morning update, a useless recounting of what's going on in my world. Go grab that cup of coffee, and let's dive in.
Current Listening: I've been switching back and forth between Brandon Heath and Andrew Osenga. Sometimes Christian music just doesn't get enough credit in the secular world.

Current Reading: Still working through Youth Culture. It's been slow, mostly because I've been pretty lazy this last week.

Bible Study: Working through The Message Remix Solo. I really have been having fun praying through the Bible, and have even started keeping a prayer journal of everything I'm working through. 

The Gym: I've been right on track with the gym. I'm starting to feel like I have a bit more energy and drive throughout the day, and hopefully that will translate into legitimate health.

Big Project: I'm going to be working on a Super Bowl part for the youth group. But today mostly I'm planning on collecting some thoughts about Dr. King. Look for a blog post later.

Wednesday Night Wrap Up: Mailing it in.

Good evening.

We were sitting in our office, working on what will be the longest ever J and Ed Variety Show (15 minutes people!), and Ed and I both started noticing the amount of snow falling from the sky. Soon thereafter, we realized that everyone and their brother was closing down for the evening. This led us to close down Veritas tonight, and take a nap. Not really. We hung out with the kids that came early from school and played an alarming amount of Mario Kart and a new (and quite painful) game called "Sting Pong".

So, since tonight was all about goofing off, and I'm in a foul mood given the lack of skill the Penguins brought to the game tonight, I give you my favorite videos of the moment. The theme: Squirrels.

See ya!

Jason

Tuesdays are the worst.

The Pens play Philly tonight.

I have to say my hopes are not that high. I even thought about e-mailing Ed C and making a bet, but I'm certain I'd loose. It's not like I don't WANT us to win, I'm just not sure we can. Thankfully, I have a meeting tonight, so I can't watch.

Speaking of meetings, I had two yesterday, and I have four today. I don't mind the meetings themselves (yesterday I was with Matt and Jake, and that's always a good time), but the whole concept of the word "meeting" drives me insane. I would feel better about it if people said things like "Do you want to get together?" or "Let's hang out" instead of "Let's set up a meeting. I'm not a fan.

Tomorrow at Veritas I'm speaking about Romans 3. That would be nice, except I haven't yet read through Romans 3. Procrastination has a strong hold on me today.

I have a serious post in mind, let's see if I can do it after I read Romans.

Godspeed,

Jason