The Sex Talk

 

(Let us all hope that this is the last time I'll have to venture into Google images looking for a related image that doesn't cause me to sin out right...)

Greetings friends,

As I mentioned in the last post, we just wrapped up our yearly series on sex. The whole process (as it does every year) has got me thinking about what a youth pastor's role is in shaping the sexual activity of teenagers, and this year in particular, why nothing I said the last two weeks makes a hoot of difference. 

 

For starters, here's what the talk focused on:

• 46% of teenagers today admit to having sexual intercourse.
• 20% of teenagers today admit to "sexting", sending raunchy photos or messages to each other.
• For me, these things are cheap immitations of the good sex that God has planned for each and every one of us, which takes place in the covenant of marriage. 
• 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:8 says that there is a "most excellent way", and that it involves a love that's patient, kind, etc.

The moral of the story the last couple of weeks has been comparing pre-marital sex and God's view of sex to Hunts ketchup vs. Heinz

(disgusting)

 

(delicious)

During the time of questions (my favorite 20 minutes of the year) we got the same question we get every year: how far is too far?

(This guy RAN too far)

I get asked this question every year, and every year I move the goal posts back as far as I can. This year I even suggested that girls who wear provative clothing are taking things a bit too far, given that boys are visually stimulated and that even a lug wrench can turn our minds to thoughts of lust.

 

(sexy...)

As the talk wound down, and I made my way back to my house, I felt the yearly sense of disappointment. The truth is that even as a youth pastor, someone that an alarming number of kids have admitted looking up to, I have little to no influence over them in this matter. The chances of me finding sexually provocative photographs on facebook tomorrow are every bit as good as they were before I gave this talk on Wednesday. The mainstream culture has taken over and immersed these kids with the idea that it's ok, and while I don't usually buy into the Christian Culture Wars, this is one area where I feel passionate.

 

At the end of the day, I suppose it's just about being there and trying our best to show the kids "the most excellent way", both in our own lives and by pointing it out when we see it. Of course I'd be interested in your thoughts on the subject, so leave some comments action. 

I'm going to try to read a little bit before leaving for the weekend! 

Godspeed,

Jason

Let's talk about sex

(A quick note about searching for the intro image to this post: Google Safe Search is up to the task!)

Good morning everyone.

The week before Valentine's Day has been traditionally the week I choose to talk about sex at youth group. This year is no exception, only this year I'm stepping aside from how I usually do things and trying a new approach. It was actually fueled by a friend of mine on our ski retreat weekend, who said something along the lines of "It's more effictive to show people the kingdom they could have instead of the hell their on their way to."

So often I feel like the sex talks I've witnessed and even (sadly) given have all centered around the concept of making the kids feel guilty for having sexual thoughts and desires. That really isn't fair, is it? I mean, God created us in the beginning to have a strong desire to pair up and find our mate, someone God had intended for us. He created a system by which we get to have sex, and make it rather enjoyable. Our kids have these desires to have the world as it was, pre-Eden, pre-fall. The thing we have to fight against is what the world has done with sex since.

In researching for this talk, I discovered that a recent survey showed that 20% of kids admitted to "Sexting", or sending Nude photos of themselves to their boyfriends/girlfriends. Again, I know that I don't want to guilt our kids or make them feel bad about this. Isn't it easier to tell them that there is a better plan for their sexual lives than trying to stare at a naked body on a 2x3 inch screen? Not to mention, what makes me truly sad about the art of sexting is that if you're under 18, you can be charged for possession of child pornography for taking pictures of yourself.

The moral of the story is I'm still working through all of this for the talk tonight, and I could use some prayers. I'm not sure how it's all going to play out, but I'll keep you in the loop!

Godspeed,

Jason