I've been reading Eugene Peterson's The Contemplative Pastor as I get ready to dive into Seminary this fall. First of all, it's a really good book that I'm hoping to review here at the J-Blog as soon as I finish, but it got me thinking about what kind of pastor I will end up being when I finish my time at PTS.
This is how my brain is wired, and I understand it's different for everybody else, but I am so much a dreamer. I get caught up in imagining what kind of church I'll pastor. Will it be a big one or a small one? An old one, or one that I've planted myself? What kind of congregation will I have? Who will be the people that I love to hang out with and grow in faith with, and who will be the people who make me want to rip my fingernails off (come on, we all know they're out there)? Or will I stick with youth ministry for a real long time, try to find an ordained position? Sometimes this week, I've been just closing my eyes on the beach, and dreaming of what life will be like in the (sigh) nine years it will take me to wrap up this degree.
I think dreaming is important. Like I said, I know that most people don't dream the way I do, but for me it's so critical. It's like the GPS to my life, mapping out what dreams are worth following and which are dead ends. Some dreams are short, like the current dream of taking a nap on the beach in a couple of hours. Some are big, like trying to figure out what my future holds. But either way, dreaming is a big part of my life, and I wonder if it shouldn't be a bigger part of all of our lives.
God seems to enjoy the dreamers. Joseph comes to mind. It's a story worth reading a a couple of levels, because Joseph's dreams got him in a lot of trouble, as ours will from time to time. But in the end, it seems to me at least that God rewards the dreamers. Take a look at King David. For as much as he was the mighty king and warrior, he writes Psalms in a way that indicates that he knows how to let his mind go, to play with imagery and dreams. This, scripture tells us, was a man after God's own heart.
So what are your dreams? Where does your mind wander when you give it enough time? What scares you about being a dreamer?
Till next time,
Godspeed,
Jason
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