I'm bad at giving grace to myself.

Hello friends,

Some quick off the cuff thoughts for you today, with almost no real thought involved.

I've been having a hard time lately (read: the last 27 years) with being organized and dealing with the administrative sides of my job. On every single spiritual gifts assessment I've ever taken, administration has occupied the basement. Not that I want that to be an excuse or anything. I struggle with it a lot, because when you struggle with organization, simple things that shouldn't be a big deal quickly become a big deal. It's like pushing a twisted slinky down the stairs, watching it catch fire, and wondering how it could ever have gotten that bad.

Today in particular I dealt with some administrative short comings, and going to lunch I felt just very down on myself. "I need to be better than this" I would lament. "These things shouldn't be such a big deal" I would reason with myself. But luckily, I had lunch with a good friend who reminded me (rather unintentionally) that if we plan on taking Christ's gift of grace seriously, then we need to start by giving it to ourselves.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

For as long as I've been in ministry, I have struggled to truly believe the concept of God's grace being enough for me while I have tried to convince other people that it was enough for them. I don't know why it's so hard to bring that grace inside, to let Christ get into my heart and do his magic. But I know for certain that it needs to start happening more and more. To tell myself at each mistep (because lets face it, there are always going to be misteps) that His grace is enough for me, and even more so, that His power is made perfect in my weaknesses. In other words, when I'm at less than my best, God steps in and takes control in a way that I never could have.

So this afternoon, I'm going to be reading through some scripture in the hopes of giving myself some more grace. My encouragement to you is to do the very same!